🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?